I am pretty sure that I would not have a relationship anymore. My internal inconsistencies with these affairs ensure that I would never enjoy one as normal people usually do, and my past experiences will continue to haunt me, at least until death.
I retreated to where I was from, namely fictions. I dare not reach out again with my broken psyche to receive more torture.
Especially games, in which I can forget myself for a while, are the only cure to my “disease”, as those arrogant ones like to call. These people call us sick, even though they are just looking down upon us, rather than trying to help.
My issues are no one else's, and I need no pity, less “correction”. I hope one day I can improve, sort out those inconsistencies, and live happy, but all these are on my own.
It's my life.