Utility

For me, the definition of utility is the object's potentials at making me happy. This follows naturally from my ultimate goal of life: to be as happy as I can possibly be, preferably in the long run (this is sometimes not as easy as it sounds with my impulsive personality). By this criterion, something that does not contribute to my happiness has no utility to me.

This definition does not apply as well to relationships though. It is simply impossible to decide whether someone really makes me happy or not, due to the extreme complexity known as the human mind (of both me and the person in question, note that this does not imply that I can or am willing to reject solipsism).

Some might argue that it is fundamentally wrong to judge relationships by utility, but it makes sense if the process is rephrased to “I like to interact with someone that makes me happy”.

Despite the fact that I classify myself as a socially withdrawn person, I still enjoy being with someone I know well, either exchanging ideas and thoughts or doing something interesting together. But I am aware that I prefer playing with things more than hanging out with people.

I am actually quite comfortable with the current situation, but it occasionally bothers me that being content with my existing relationships does not seem to be the optimal strategy for surviving in a modern society. The actionable items to change the status quo are vague and volatile, but the angst of seeing new faces, hard and true.