Emotional Fluctuation

Although I would rather describe myself as rational and reserved, I am actually quite volatile when it comes to negative emotions.

Just today I had a surge in my pessimism, and dumped my frustration on my family in a conversation. I really regret this. In hindsight I cannot remember how I became so irritated and hysterical. I just could not restrain my emotions or stop taking it out on someone.

I am unsensitive and often unconscious to deteriorating mental status. As a result the first moment when I realize my sentiments are out of control is often when I already irritated or offended others.

While leaving the conversation to cool off might be a effective solution, this has actually made my situation worse, since I became more uncomfortable with people, and the probability of me losing it has increased.

I once believed that rationality is the sole road to truth, but sensations can bend truth and shape one's reality.