I am starting to question my love for computers, the rationale behind it and how it would affect my career.
I have always thought that computers are my destination, my passion for life and what I would work with through out my profession. I like to tinker with them, occasionally write small programs, building my own computers and fixing problems for friends.
But since university, I saw far more passionate people than me in the field of computers and information technology, albeit a small proportion, even in CS major. Still, I lost the confidence in my passion.
Perhaps working as a programmer or a system administrator does not require much passion, but I am now doubtful whether I should continue down this path, whether I will regret. As if I still have a choice, but I cannot see myself doing better, or even close to what those really passionate will achieve.
I wanted a life in which I can do what I want and be happy. I fear losing my passion in computers once I have to work all day long with them. If this is the case, does that mean that my passion is an illusion? Or is it that I will destroy my decades-long hobby by working in the field?
I do not know anything on this. I am a person without perseverance or will. Maybe I will laugh at everything that I have written now, and I want to feel okay about this. I hope everything eventually turns out fine.