I am spending too much time consuming media, especially video. It is too easy for me to leak hours of time without any productivity or new findings.
It is really a bad habit that will consume me eventually. There will be no “me” anymore, but a generic viewer counted on the Internet. While each person have their own unique life, they cease to exist in the society when they choose to passively receive only second-handed information.
I definitely do not want to end up like this, but I cannot pull myself out of the pit I am already in. I once thought that I have quite a strong will, at least against addiction, but I could not be more wrong. I am already ruined.
Even meaningful things to me start to lose value, when my self-esteem plunges like this. The future looks grim and I cannot help but tranquilize myself with “entertainment” and sleep. I hate my broken will power.