Evading Guilt

Guilt is such a strongly negative emotion, that I go to great lengths, often unconsciously, trying to evade it.

The methods I regularly use are lying and postponing response, and I also combine them to greater effect. These behaviors work reasonably well, and are also accumulative and addictive. Lying never stops.

Only that the guilt on myself is not evadable. Well, not without resorting to material self harm or sinking into insanity. Such irony, as living an honest person punishes me harder when I am down the wrong path.

There is no going back in time. The scars will be messy, but there is no other way then cauterizing myself with that big dumpster fire I started. The IKEA clock is still ticking on my back.